Ask Mr. Right (Wing) - May 24, 2006

We’ve created an automated supercomputer that reads your questions and offers the kind of compassionately conservative advice America needs. And, at a time when human freedom is on the march, Mr. Right (Wing) is completely human free! But fear not, Mr. Right (Wing) offers the same heartless responses you can expect from today’s leading human right-wingers.

This week, Mr. Right (Wing) answers questions about hair, Chinese food, roommates, and baseball!

I’ve recently noticed my hair getting thinner. I am way too young for this. I found some hair-growing products that work temporarily, but what products are out there that will bring my hair back and keep it?

You’ve seen those headlines about global warming. The glaciers are melting; we’re doomed. That’s what several studies supposedly found. But other scientific studies found exactly the opposite. Greenland’s glaciers are growing, not melting. The Antarctic ice sheet is getting thicker, not thinner. Did you see any big headlines about that? Why are they trying to scare us? Global warming alarmists claim the glaciers are melting because of carbon dioxide from the fuels we use. “Let’s force people to cut back,” they say. But we depend on those fuels to grow our food, move our children, light up our lives. And as for carbon dioxide, it isn’t smog or smoke, it’s what we breathe out, and what plants breathe in. Carbon dioxide— they call it pollution, we call it life.

 
My favorite hole in the wall Chinese restaurant is going out of business on Labor Day- I saw the writing on the wall when they kept lowering prices to attract more customers. Do you have any recommendations for other purveyors of dumplings downtown? You dim sum, you lose some. I need a new spot to get my fix! Please help.

What is lost in this debate is that Wal-Mart has been a major factor in enriching America’s poorest consumers. Americans can buy more goods (including medicines, clothing, and fresh food) than ever before thanks to Wal-Mart’s effect of lowering prices in real terms. It is a shame the firm has chosen to muddy this legacy as a poverty fighter with this misguided attempt to raise every employer’s labor costs.

 
College has gotten so expensive these days! With my tuition and housing at almost $40,000 per year, I had to take out massive loans, plus every time I go out to a bar or out for food I put the tab on my credit card, so I’m running up quite a credit card bill. I’m afraid I’m going to be paying off debt from my years as a student forever. How can I get out from under this mountain of debt?

While Ronald Reagan conclusively proved that deficits don’t have the negative economic impacts that alarmists like to claim, we are committed to reducing the federal budget deficit and the national debt. Raising taxes is the wrong way to do this: it slows economic growth by punishing success. Instead, by reducing the top marginal tax rates and the capital gains tax, and eliminating the estate tax, we will help our economy grow and ultimately put more money in the federal treasury. This pro-growth strategy, combined with fiscal discipline and cuts in wasteful welfare and health-care programs, will bring the federal budget back into balance.

 
My boyfriend and I are having an argument about what is the worst movie of all time. He says it’s something called “Plan 9 From Outer Space,” while I say it’s just “Gigli” or one of those newer Star Wars movies. He’s pretentious and says “cinema” and “film” a lot. But is he right?

We see a direct connection between the practice of contraception and the practice of abortion. The mind-set that invites a couple to use contraception is a reckless, hedonistic, antichild mind-set. So, in the event that a baby is conceived accidentally, the couple already is predisposed to this negative, self-focused attitude towards the new life. Therefore seeking an abortion is a natural outcome. In keeping with our belief in the culture of life, we oppose all forms of contraception and we oppose Plan B.

 
Everyone loves my roommate. She is really positive and upbeat and excited about everything. But I feel like she’s scheming to take things from me – she got the part I wanted in the play, and the editor job I wanted at our campus magazine, and last night I heard she stayed out late at a bar with my boyfriend. Should I confront her?

I’m delighted to be here. One of the things I want to do is just make it clear that one of the reason I took the job is not only because I believe in the president, because, believe it or not, I want to work with you. These are times that are going to be very challenging. We’ve got a lot of big issues ahead and we’ve got a lot of important things that all of us are going to be covering together. And I am very excited and I can’t wait.

 
It’s that time of year again—Fantasy League Baseball! I’ve been doing pretty well and put together a solid team, but now that the season has started I’m worried about my pitching staff; specifically K’s, WHIP, and S’s. It really doesn’t look like my closers are going to get enough save opportunities (thanks for nothing, Kevin Foulke). Any sleeper picks that I could snag on the waiver wire for some saves?

Teens need to be taught to save sex for marriage, because premarital sex has many negative consequences, both physical and emotional. One of the most obvious outcomes of engaging in premarital sex is having a child outside marriage; today, one-third of all births are out-of-wedlock. Teen birthrates have declined since the early 1990s, but the highest unwed birthrates are among those age 20-24, followed by those 25-29. This shows that many young girls abstain from sex while they are in high school, but not afterward.

Check out the previous expert advice from Mr. Right (Wing) here and here.

--------

Comments
Leave a comment about this article below. For more discussion, visit our community page and sign up for your own Campus Progress blog!