Help Ted Stevens!

How you can help save the bill to kill wildlife.

By Katie Halper
Friday March 31, 2006

As a life-long fan of Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska, I was thrilled when the U.S. Senate voted 51-49 to allow drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as part of the 2007 federal budget. The right to kill wildlife is something very dear to the Senator’s heart. But it is too early to pop the champagne and buy a polar bear rug. The bill still needs to pass many hurdles before it is law (get passed by the House of Representatives and make it through conference committeee.) If the bill is killed, the effects will be devastating for Americans, and especially, for Ted Stevens. He’s been losing a noble and uphill battle to legalize drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Preserve for 25 long years. Neither this great country, nor this great senator, will survive yet another defeat of this great bill.

The frustration with the Senate’s inability to recognize the need for killing polar bears is taking its toll on this great Senator. The last time the Senate stopped a bill that would have permitted this drilling, a defeated Stevens opened up his heart to the American people: “I’m seriously depressed, unfortunately, clinically depressed. And I’ve been told that’s because I’ve been at this too long." I knew it would have pained me to see Stevens step down. I knew I would miss seeing the Incredible Hulk tie he wears on the days the Senate votes on his bills or when he’s “pumped up”.

But, perhaps, I thought, it was indeed time for Stevens to spend less time in the public sphere fighting for his country and more time on his personal life. Maybe I was right because things have only gotten worse for Ted. When Ted’s bill to allow for drilling, which he carefully tucked into a defense budget bill, failed in December, his depression returned. He said, “This is the saddest day of my life." This man lived through the Great Depression, fought in World War II, and lost his 1st wife. But this noble Senator is so selflessly committed to doing what is in the best interest of his country, and not in his own self-interest, that the saddest day of his life was when the Senate announced it would not open up the wildlife reserve to drilling for oil. I was sure that Ted Stevens would finally step down and treat the depression that had clutched him for the 37 years he has been in the senate when I heard him say: "It’s a day I don’t want to remember. I say goodbye to the Senate tonight. Thank you very much."Thank God, he stuck with it and got it passed this time.

But Senator Stevens is a fighter and he returned to the senatorial ring stronger than ever. The last time Senate voted against Stevens’ anti-polar bear bill the senator promised revenge: "You bet your bottom dollar I’ll remember [this vote]. If I ever give my word, I keep it. I’m mad enough to eat nails right now, to have people not keep their word to me."

And he started an information campaign to shame those who dared vote against his brilliant endeavor to drill for oil in a nature reserve in his own state: “I’m going to go to every one of your states, and I’m going to tell them what you’ve done. This was wrong."

So far, it has worked.

But Senator Stevens cannot do this alone. He needs our help. I’m organizing a Ted Stevens Save the Bill to kill wildlife campaign.

Here are the ways you can help:


  1. Send donations towards the Ted-mobile, a hummer covered in polar bear fur which Ted will drive in from state to state, educating citizens about their Senators’ support of polar bears and betrayal of the American People.

  2. Send gas donations, because this Ted-mobile is a real gas-guzzler.

  3. Send a card I’m encouraging all people who stand with senator Stevens to send him cards of sympathy, for the death of his bill, as well as cards of encouragement, support, and appreciation so that he will continue to struggle for what is right, what is good.


Katie Halper is a comedian and documentary filmmaker. She’s one of the founders of Laughing Liberally and she just performed with Laughing Liberally at Town Hall in New York City. She’s one of the artistic directors of The Tank, a performing and visual arts space in Tribecca. She made a film calledLa Memoria es Vaga  about Spanish historical memory that will screen on Spanish TV in the fall.

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  1. It’s a series of tubes!

    — Sam Jackson - Oct 23, 06:24 PM - #

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