Sanctity of Marriage 
The weekly wrap-up: one-hour marriages, all-day whore classes, 65-million-year-old vegans, and more.
Sanctity of Marriage
With the fall of Saddam Hussein, an old trend has regained popularity among some Iraqis called muta’a, or pleasure marriages. Under Hussein’s rule the marriages were outlawed, but since the U.S. led invasion began in 2003, they’ve made a comeback. In a pleasure marriage two people get married for a pre-determined amount of time. During that time the man pays the woman for sexual intimacy. A muta’a can range from an hour to twenty years. The USA Today reports, “The 1,400-year-old practice of muta’a— "ecstasy" in Arabic — is as old as Islam itself. It was permitted by the prophet Mohammed as a way to ensure a respectable means of income for widowed women.” How will religious conservatives in America react to this religious tradition in Iraq? Could we see a constitutional marriage amendment in the new free Iraq to define marriage? Will Rick Santorum storm through Iraqi cities on a traditional marriage tour? Conservatives like to exploit their role in bringing “freedom” to Iraq, but mum might be the word on this newest freedom. If only Britney Spears knew about the muta’a before her two-day marriage with Jason Alexander.
Britney Spears’ Two Day Marriage: C
Conservatives Who Exploit Freedom: D
Conservatives Who Exploit Marriage: F
Marcus Mrowka , George Washington University
America ’s Drug Problems
Turns out America hasn’t kicked its drug habits.The Washington Post reported that marijuana arrests now account for 45 percent of federal drug arrests, yet America hasn’t stopped smoking the reefer. Meanwhile, in a sign that we haven’t forgotten what we learned in the ‘60s and ‘70s about testing drugs on unsuspecting individuals, the federal government used foster children as guinea pigs for drug testing. Thankfully, in addition to arresting people for drugs they want and giving people drugs that may hurt them, Paul Krugman reminds us of the ridiculous prescription drug plan that went through Congress in 2003. The Medicare Prescription Drug Plan was crafted by people with a drug problem. How can we tell? They hid its true cost through lies and intimidation.
Arresting Americans to No Effect: F
Giving Americans Drugs That May Hurt Them: F
Lying to Americans to Pass Bad Drug Policy: F
Matt Singer, University of Montana
Because I needed the money for Clown College
Presented in conjunction with the San Francisco Sex Worker Film and Arts Festival, a biennial event held to promote issues in the San Francisco sex worker community such as health care and community safety, students were offered a chance to take a day-long “Whore College” training seminar, sponsored by the Sex Workers Advocacy Network. Students who signed up for the seminar could choose from events such as “DIY Webcam” and “Sex Worker Well-Being.” Students who made it through the whole day received certificates declaring them “graduates in sex work.”
Teaching well-being and community safety, regardless of occupation: A
Calling it “ Whore College:” C-
August J. Pollak, Campus Progress
You’re listening to WXDU. Really, really listening.
College radio has its perks. Trendy hipsters openly discuss their musical tastes, classic rock lovers keep the old tunes flowing, and sex, lies, and radio shows examine the inner workings of college romance. With the advancements in technology, most radio stations now sport a webcam or two. But is this an improvement in the system? Duke’s radio station, WXDU has recently reported a middle-aged man that has been e-mailing daily a list of profanities that he has heard broadcast on the radio station’s feed. Along with the list of these obscenities he also has recordings from the webcams of the DJs as they utter the unmentionables barred by FCC guidelines. The station runs the risk of getting fined per mistake. DJs for the station now have the option of Duke security accompanying them to their cars if they don’t feel safe from their avid listener. Perhaps this listener will take part in the Collegiate Broadcasters, Inc. Fall Conference. It’s the largest student media convention in the nation! With college radio, you never can really know who is listening.
WXDU’s broadcasting slip-ups: C
Middle-aged men watching your every spinning move: D-
A media conference for hip scenesters and fine dandies: A+
Courtney Foley, George Washington University
The Velociraptors were trying to impress their art school girlfriends
Utah archaelogists recently unearthed a mass grave of bizarre, bird-like dinosaurs who are being dubbed as the “missing link.” Scientists believe the previously unknown species, Falcarius utahensis, explains how another dinosaur species, Velociraptor, evolved from being vivacious meat-eaters to content vegans and eventually into birds. The really weird looking feathered dinosaur can be seen in the Thursday May 5 issue of the journal “Nature” accompanying a piece by paleontologists from the Utah Geological Survey and the Utah Museum of Natural History at the University of Utah. With leaf-shaped teeth, pot-bellies, claws and feathers, Falcarius utahensis walked on two legs, had a long neck and was 13 feet tall. Scott Sampson, chief curator at the Utah Museum of Natural History, told a news conference: "Falcarius is kind of half-raptor and half herbivore.”
Discovering the evolution of Velociraptor from a hearty meat-eater into a vegan: A
Archaeology, Paleontology and Evolution in general: A+
Falcarius utahensis as a band name: B+
Jennifer Daniel, Huntington, Alabama
Freedom Fest Has Arrived!
Where do conservatives of all stripes and sizes come together and celebrate moral values and freedom? Sin City of course! The Young America’s Foundation is having its “Freedom Fest” Convention next week in Las Vegas. Their site describes the conference as “three days of great ideas, great books, and great thinkers.” But that isn’t all! Just added is some “sex, power, and rock & roll” with everyone’s favorite performer, Shemane Nugent, “rock Star Ted Nugent’s wife & author of Married To A Rock Star and Kill It And Grill It.” If you’re in the Las Vegas area next week, leave the slots for a little while and take a journey to some of the exciting opportunities Freedom Fest 2005 has for you! Hear from blockbuster conservative speakers like David Horowitz, Dinesh D’Souza, and Ward Connerly. Also, attend an exciting panel where you can learn about How Freedom Loving Are You And Why?, Why Jews Don’t Feel Guilty about Sex and Money,Bringing Conservative Principles to Your Campus, or the highlight of the conference, Bring A Speaker To Your Liberal Campus Training Seminar.
Having the Conference in Vegas rather than the Ronald Reagan Building: A
Young America’s Foundation: D
A Conference Where the Featured Entertainment is Ted Nugent’s Wife: F
Marcus Mrowka , George Washington University
Illustration: August J. Pollak