Lists
The Friday List-down: Looking for More Triangulating Tax Cuts?
Welcome to the Friday List-down. (If you don't get it, then watch one or two of these videos, and then get back to us.)
Newt Gingrich recently said on Fox News Sunday, “What Republicans ought to do is say to people who create jobs, ‘How many years does the tax code have to be extended for you to make an investment decision? … I would have the business leadership of the country describe the number?”
Well, we took Newt’s advice, and here are some of the suggestions we imagine the business community might suggest as new additions to the tax code.
Do you drive a Mercedes-Benz, Lexus, or BMW that cost more than $50,000?
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the luxury vehicle tax credit. Please fill out form 9678b.
Do you drive a Hummer?
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the climate change skeptic tax credit! Please fill out form 6422.
Do you purchase gourmet cooking classes for your tween that cost thousands of dollars?
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the obnoxious foodie tax credit! Please complete Schedule R and attach it to form 448E.
Have you used a tax evasion method that qualifies as “Double Irish” or “Dutch Sandwich”?
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the Google tax credit. Please fill out section 7 of form 963(d)(a).
Do you have a trust fund?
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the Chuck Bass tax credit. Please fill out form 900913.
Do you have eight houses?
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the John McCain tax credit. Please fill out form X896.
Do you star in a reality show on NBC titled “The Apprentice?”
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the Donald Trump tax credit. Please fill out form 369E-Z.
Is your last name some variation of the word “rich”?
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the Nicole Richie tax credit. Please fill out form 8643.
Have you personally fought the War on Christmas?
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the Gretchen Carlson tax credit. Please fill out form 633.
Have you set up a political super PAC in the last two months?
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the Christine O’Donnell tax credit. You do not qualify if you accept unemployment insurance. Please complete schedule U.
Do you support tax cuts for the rich (those with an annual income of $200,000 or more as an individual or $250,000 for married couples)?
If so, congratulations! You qualify for the job creation tax credit. Please fill out form R1(c), section H.
To see last Friday's list-down, click here.
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