Friday List-down: 12 things to Know Before You Watch ‘Jersey Shore’

If you haven’t been watching the MTV reality TV hit Jersey Shore—and why wouldn’t you?—you could be a little confused if you try to tune in this season, which started airing its third season last week. For those old foggies out there here’s the nitty gritty of what you need to know if you decide to jump in this season.  Granted, it may be a terrible show filled with terrible people, but it is supremely entertaining.

1. The entire cast seems to have a lifetime supply of gel and premium memberships to tanning salons, though it’s really just Snooki who has the market on tanning cornered. She’s been paid $11,000 just to show up at a modest tanning salon in New Jersey.
2. Before the guys go out, The Situation has a ritual:"We have an abundance of wife beaters ... we wear before we go out. Then it's T-shirt time. Right before we go out we take off the tank and then we put on our fresh shirt."
3. Offensive lingo you should know: A “grenade” is a ugly fat girl and a “landmine” is a ugly skinny girl.
4. The acronym “MVP” does not refer to “most valuable player” but instead stands for Mike, Pauly, and Vinny, the three guys on the show. (Note: “The Situation” is also Mike. We understand that this second nickname is then therefore confusing. Just hang in there. You’ll get it.)
5. You don’t have to be on the Jersey Shore to call the show Jersey Shore. (Season 2 was filmed in Miami.)
6. Sam and Ron break up every other episode. Be prepared for this.
7. Sam’s favorite line is “I’m Done.” This means you will hear it a lot.
8. Sam’s hair is not real. JWoW’s breasts are also not real.  We recognize that this takes away from the level of reality of the show. Trust us, the entertainment is worth it.
9. When they say “Get your GTL on,” they mean “Get on your gym, tanning, and laundry,” which only marginally makes grammatical sense.
10. Angelina use to be on the show but left because everyone hated her
11. Deena has replaced Angelina, who left the show because pretty much everyone hated her. There is very little differentiating Snooki and Deena.
12. After threatening to strike, the cast negotiated a contract that allowed them to each make $30,000 an episode. If only unions had that kind of power.

To see our previous list, click here.

Ashley R. Hunter is an editorial intern for Campus Progress.

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